Mindset
Hey there you fantastic Friday folk. It's bonus episode. Day five minutes to get your weekend off to a good start. Whatever the world is thro at you right now. I've been a therapist for long enough now to know that we all feel pain. In different ways. Buddhist teachings were all about the idea that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
But that doesn't mean that the pain of life isn't real, especially when so much of it's outside of our control. Sometimes the waiter in your life is gonna bring you things that weren't even on the menu, and it's hard to deal with these things. Loss. Rejection unfairness. There might just be a part of life, but it can still overwhelm you to the point of thinking you could just give up.
But it's in these moments that we have to really dig deep to keep moving forward rather than going over what has happened or how things could be different. Even though we know it's how we deal with these things rather than the things themselves that make it so that we either crumble or become stronger.
There's a great quote by Muhammad Ali, the boxer, when a reporter asked him how many sit-ups he could do, and he said, I don't know. I don't count all my sit ups. He said, I only start counting when it starts hurting because they're the only ones that count. It's the same for emotional growth as well. No growth comes from staying in any comfort zone.
Going through those bad experiences is the only way to grow the part of you that can handle it. And once you realise this, then every bad experience gives you the option to figure out how to deal with it, to take responsibility for finding out how to change it, rather than getting caught up in the emotions of the experience.
Now, a majority don't. Most people give into the feelings they wallow in it. Drown in it maybe, until it becomes depression. And when we are prone to that, we really do need to dig deep. 'cause although most people do give into it, some don't. 'cause they see it as a lesson. I've had plenty of clients over the years who have had a strong religious faith and they say that the pain was sent by god to challenge them, but they know that god would only give them something that he knew they could handle. And so they come to therapy to learn how to handle it, thinking it was god's plan all along.
Now, I have to bear in mind in the uk, over half the population describes themselves as being non-religious with no faith. But maybe we can have the belief without the faith. 'cause even if our strength is heaven sent, we would still need to actually do something with those heaven sent resources anyway.
And we all have those resources. We all have the choice to move on from the past or dwell on it. It's just that some things are hard, not impossible, just hard, but everything we do starts in our mind.
Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, the things that lead to depression. It all starts with our mindset, the habitual thought patterns that make up our personality because the habitual thought patterns lead to habitual feelings, emotions that we give names and labels, and we stick those labels to our identity.
Creating a belief that there's something wrong with us. When if we can catch 'em earlier on, we can create a shift in those thought patterns that make up our reality. 'cause when you change the present, you begin the process of changing the future as well.
Right then. As you probably already know, I go into this a bit more on my Monday morning episodes on Patreon. Six pounds a month.
The link is in the show notes. Hop on and see if you can save yourself some money in the long run. 'cause you might not need as many therapy sessions. That's the plan anyway, so thanks to everybody on Patreon that's contributed by the way. Your combined six quids makes a massive difference to the world.
Doesn't just pay for my time to do these. It also funds therapy for people who are struggling financially as well, and there's quite a few other charitable places as well. So you're not just benefiting yourself by signing up on my Patreon, you're benefiting hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of others as well.
So do sign up if you want to do that, and I will talk to you on there on Monday. Or you can go back and have a listen to the full episode on this topic from a couple of weeks ago. Either way, I'll speak to you again soon. See ya.
But that doesn't mean that the pain of life isn't real, especially when so much of it's outside of our control. Sometimes the waiter in your life is gonna bring you things that weren't even on the menu, and it's hard to deal with these things. Loss. Rejection unfairness. There might just be a part of life, but it can still overwhelm you to the point of thinking you could just give up.
But it's in these moments that we have to really dig deep to keep moving forward rather than going over what has happened or how things could be different. Even though we know it's how we deal with these things rather than the things themselves that make it so that we either crumble or become stronger.
There's a great quote by Muhammad Ali, the boxer, when a reporter asked him how many sit-ups he could do, and he said, I don't know. I don't count all my sit ups. He said, I only start counting when it starts hurting because they're the only ones that count. It's the same for emotional growth as well. No growth comes from staying in any comfort zone.
Going through those bad experiences is the only way to grow the part of you that can handle it. And once you realise this, then every bad experience gives you the option to figure out how to deal with it, to take responsibility for finding out how to change it, rather than getting caught up in the emotions of the experience.
Now, a majority don't. Most people give into the feelings they wallow in it. Drown in it maybe, until it becomes depression. And when we are prone to that, we really do need to dig deep. 'cause although most people do give into it, some don't. 'cause they see it as a lesson. I've had plenty of clients over the years who have had a strong religious faith and they say that the pain was sent by god to challenge them, but they know that god would only give them something that he knew they could handle. And so they come to therapy to learn how to handle it, thinking it was god's plan all along.
Now, I have to bear in mind in the uk, over half the population describes themselves as being non-religious with no faith. But maybe we can have the belief without the faith. 'cause even if our strength is heaven sent, we would still need to actually do something with those heaven sent resources anyway.
And we all have those resources. We all have the choice to move on from the past or dwell on it. It's just that some things are hard, not impossible, just hard, but everything we do starts in our mind.
Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, the things that lead to depression. It all starts with our mindset, the habitual thought patterns that make up our personality because the habitual thought patterns lead to habitual feelings, emotions that we give names and labels, and we stick those labels to our identity.
Creating a belief that there's something wrong with us. When if we can catch 'em earlier on, we can create a shift in those thought patterns that make up our reality. 'cause when you change the present, you begin the process of changing the future as well.
Right then. As you probably already know, I go into this a bit more on my Monday morning episodes on Patreon. Six pounds a month.
The link is in the show notes. Hop on and see if you can save yourself some money in the long run. 'cause you might not need as many therapy sessions. That's the plan anyway, so thanks to everybody on Patreon that's contributed by the way. Your combined six quids makes a massive difference to the world.
Doesn't just pay for my time to do these. It also funds therapy for people who are struggling financially as well, and there's quite a few other charitable places as well. So you're not just benefiting yourself by signing up on my Patreon, you're benefiting hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of others as well.
So do sign up if you want to do that, and I will talk to you on there on Monday. Or you can go back and have a listen to the full episode on this topic from a couple of weeks ago. Either way, I'll speak to you again soon. See ya.