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Episode 108: Reframing

As winter gets closer and the warm summer that we had this year seems so long ago we have a choice; we can either recoil at the colder, damper weather or we can appreciate the leaves changing colour, the excitement of the build up to Christmas and the ability to see the sun rise without having to get up super early!

It’s up to you – the start of winter can be a good thing or a bad thing depending entirely on the frame that you put around it.

The idea of framing can be used in many areas of life. If things don’t go the way you want them to you can choose to moan and be fearful of it happening again or you can learn from it and move on.

If someone has been hurt in a relationship they can decide that people are untrustworthy and that, in order to avoid getting hurt, can never trust anyone ever again.

This frame of “people are untrustworthy” may work for a short while as it can keep us emotionally safe and prevent us from getting hurt.

But it can also lead to loneliness.

By reframing “people are untrustworthy” into “the person who hurt me in the past is untrustworthy and I deserve a better partner” it allows us to let go of the past and become a happier person.

Reframing a negative situation is something we could all do with doing from time to time.

Driving to Devon in the summer I was stuck in a very nasty traffic jam, and it would have been easy to become frustrated or angry. But with a simple reframe of the situation I was able to enjoy the music I was listening to and appreciate the views of the hills and farmland around me that, had I been moving, I wouldn't have been able to do so well.

After all, I would much rather be sitting in traffic not moving than be the cause of the jam; which was an accident further up the motorway.

It’s often said that “every cloud has a silver lining” but if you aren’t looking for that silver lining in the first place you will never see it.